Q) What do you do when a woman comes out of the kitchen and nags at you?
A) Shorten The Chain!

Q) Whats the difference between a lesbian and a catfish?
A) One has whiskers and smells of fish, the other lives in a pond.

Q) Which of the following does not belong - Meat, Wife, Dog, Blowjob, Odds?
A) Blowjob - You can beat the odds, your meat, your wife and your dog, but you cant beat a blowjob!

Q) Why Did The Woman Cross The Road?
A) More To The Point What Was The Bitch Doing Out Of The Kitchen

Q) How Many Men Does It Take To Change A Kitchen Lightbulb?
A) NONE. Let The Bitch Cook In The Dark!

Q) Why are electric trains like a mother`s breasts?
A) They were both designed for the kids, but it`s the fathers who are always playing with them.

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: They think we care.

Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.

Q: What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste

Q: What is the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's dick

Q: What do a bungee jumper and a gay man have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks, they`re both in the shit!

Q: Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?
A: Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.

Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!

Q: What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
A: They can both smell it but they can't eat it

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak