THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY MAN WOULD EVER SAY

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.

2. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?

3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.

4. Her tits are just too big.

5. Sometimes I just want to be held.

6. That chick on Murder, She Wrote gives me a woody.

7. Sure I'd love to wear a condom.

8. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.

9. Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.

10. I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask directions.

THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:

1. Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being friends.

2. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.

3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.

4. Hey, get a whiff of that one.

5. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.

6. This diamond is way too big.

7. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.

8. Wow, it really is 14 inches!

9. Does this make my butt look too small?

10. I'm wrong, you must be right again.