The rules of bedroom golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equiptment for play - normally two balls and one club.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the course.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing in a hole immediately upon arrival to the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the whole course, with special attention to well-formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played to the owner of the course currently being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's equiptment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to have rain gear along, just in case.

10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularily when the course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone playing what they consider to be a private course.

11. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.

12. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embaressed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play if this is the case.

13. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily at the course owner's request.

14. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

16. In some states, it is illegal for the course owner to require (or for a player to offer) a green fee in excess of the price of dinner. Course owners must be careful that play not be proposed to members of the vice squad.

17. Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at any given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner and the rules are subject to change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to play at several different courses.

18. It is the responsibility of the course owner to keep house pets restrained and off the course at all times. Video surveillance may need to be employed to insure compliance with this mandate.