001-"Let's go in."
002-"Let's not go in."
003-"I follow them."
004-"I stab the dragon and tell it to get off me."
005-"I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that
it's the
extra-healing potion."
006-"I kill it."
007-"Let me handle this."
008-"Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"
009-"What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR
HASTUR over and over
again..."
010-"Click?? ...This doesn't come with ammo?"
011-"Why is your torch flame turning blue?"
012-"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
013-"Trust me."
014-"I never get lost."
015-(A corridor ahead is full of brown mold)
"I cast Fireball down the hall, then send my fire elemental
to investigate."
016-"Dammit, this thing won't die!"
017-a)"I bet without Mjolnir you're a real wuss."
b)"He looks like a wuss to me."
018-"He hit me for HOW MUCH?????"
019-"They're only kobolds!"
020-"Hey, this chest just bit me!"
021-"I try to move silently in plate armor..."
022-"I didn't find any traps !!"
023-"Wonder what this button does ?"
024-"Don't worry, he is probably just first level."
025-"This 250' wall has so many holes, it should be easy to
climb."
026-"I'll just close my eyes and walk up to the dracolisk
holding up my mirror"
027-"Can I eat this green slime?"
028-"I'll just walk up to the dragon invisibly"
029-"Why is this man speaking in sign language?"
030-"This type of undead can't drain levels"
031-"I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and
backstab him!"
032-"We are in luck! The dragon is sleeping"
033-"That's only a statue"
034-"There is no trap on the door, so let's open it"
035-"Look, behind you!!!" Said by a gnome(pc) to an
ogre as a disliked
parttymember crept up. End of the other member.
036-"I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything
is!"
037-"Don't worry, the DM won't hose me"
038-"We'll untie the prisoners and lock them in the
closet."
039-"Why can't we take Clarissa (Disguised evil high
priestess) with us?"
040-"How much will you give me for this idol I found
(cursed)?"
041-"I'm not powerful enough, can't you just give me second
level."
042-"Don't I get the farie fire bonus on my parry."
043-Star Wars:"Stormtroopers can't hit a Wampa at this
dist..."
044-Traveller:"Who took the battery out of my grav
belt?"
045-"They're wearing blue robes? They must be Druids. Roll
for initiative,
suckers." (At which point the polymorphed Bone Devils ate
him.)
046-"I see HOW MANY wights?!" (from the crypts of
Ravenloft)
047-"Don't worry, wyvern don't attack unless they're
provoked."
048-"You watch the door, I'll take out the Gas Spore
(Beholder) that's guarding
the treasure."
049-"A Nightmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare
to run."
050-"I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the
dragon."
051-"They need a twenty to hit me, I'm invincible"
052-"Don't worry sir, we can handle it."
053-"I bet that without Mjolnir you're a real wimp."
054-NPC: "Lets drop our weapons and talk."
PC : "Okay!"
055-"We killed all monsters on this level."
056-"I've been here before. There are no traps in this
section."
057-"What do you mean 18 meter long crocodile--you just said
crocodile."
058-"Well ...., I'll touch it again"
059-"I attempt to disbelieve"
060-"I cast a fireball" (into a 10'x10'x10' room)
061-"I know if I draw a card I'll get the VOID."
062-GM:"You're very lucky, you all don't know how lucky you
are! Save or take
210 points of damage"
063-GM:"You don't get your +5 for being a dwarf, because
it's special bodak
power"
064-" It's OK, I trust her..." ... *BOOM!!!!!!*
065-"Stand back you wimps. I'll kill it."
066-"Oops."
067-"OK! I moon the Balrog!"
068-"My first arrow MISSED the magic-user pointing at me??
OK, I shoot again!"
069-"Where'd that thief go now?"
070-"Trap? What trap?"
071-"So what?"
072-"Don't be silly. If this was really the ship's
"Self-Destruct Button",
do you think they'd leave it lying around where anyone could
press it?"
073-"Hmmm...the sign on the door says, "AIRLOCK".
I wonder what's inside."
074-"You're all a bunch of wimps!! I'll prove to you myself
that an entire
orc stronghold is no match for your average barbarian."
075-"All right, we're in an unexplored dungeon in total
darkness with no
light sources or infravision...Hey, I know!! Let's yell and
scream a lot
so we can locate each other by sound!!"
076-"I'm going to kill our captives anyway, and I don't give
a damn whether
the other goody-good PC's like it or not."
077-"Y'know, since our druid's been so obnoxious, it would
probably serve him
right if we set his precious forest on fire."
078-"A clever bluff, Agent N42, but not clever enough. You
see, right away I
recognized your `pistol' as a cleverly disguised cigarette
lighter."
079-"A creature with two BABOON heads on a scaly REPTILIAN
body? With
TENTACLES for arms? Hunh. Must be some stupid wizard's magical
construct.
Let's kill it."
080-"Yes, it's true I humiliated the DM in front of the
debating team
Wednesday, but he's much too broad-minded to take it out on my
character."
081-"OK, O Mighty Odin, as long as you're not gonna answer
my prayers, I'm
gonna tell ya what I REALLY think of ya!"
082-"I drop trough and expose myself to the arch-mage as a
gesture of
contempt."
083-"Well, guys, I'm sorry my activities in the last town
got us all tarred
and feathered, but you're not going to hold that against me, are
you?"
084-"No, I'm sure there's some stipulation that says a
disintegrate spell
won't work if the spellcaster casts it on himself. Here, I'll
prove it."
085-"Oops, I spilled flaming oil on my beard. I'd better
wash it off after
we kill this fire lizard."
086-"Well, we know he's LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his
word when he
promised not to betray us."
087-"So I'm safely across the pit? Whew! For a minute there
I was worried
that you might remember my encumbrance penalties."
088-"Well, as long as I've stumbled into Princess Savitra's
bedroom, I might
as well try to seduce her."
089-"Thank God!! A hobgoblin camp up ahead! Maybe they can
help heal our
wounded!"
090-"Don't worry! The chances of me blowing a climb walls
roll twice, at my
level, are infinitesimal."
091-"All right, I jump...Now on the way down, I activate my
ring of feather
fall...no, wait, didn't I lend it to Jim?"
092-"So you're Tiamat, huh? Are you evil? Yes? Would you
like to convert?"
093-"I cast a `gate' spell and gate in the Iraqi Air
Force."
094-"Well, *I* trust our party thief, and if he says this
door isn't trapped,
that's good enough for me."
095-"Well, I didn't much like this character, anyway...Here
goes nothing..."
096-"I swing the Toxic Avenger's mop at the grenade so I can
bat it across the
room at the aliens...Wait! Isn't that grenade Contact Fused
???"
097-"All right, I guess Toronaga's right. There can't
possibly be anything on
the other side of this airlock. Why not open the damned
thing."
098-"Whistling sounds? Naw, they can't have a grenade
launcher!"
099-"Okay, there's nothing guarding the bridge. I go through
the door and find
the helm."
100-"They can't possibly outflank us. We have a
multi-scanner!"
101-"Come on! Arrows versus Kevlar?"
102-"What do you mean Tsu Han's pilotting the shuttle? Does
he even have
Insystem Pilot? WHY ARE YOU SMILING AND SHAKING YOUR HEAD?"
103-"So that giant fell into the pit? I'll jump over it and
get his treasure."
104-"Oh, that sorceress looked a little pale when she
examined the mirror which
has the pentagram in front of it on the floor. I think I'll break
the
mirror."
105-"It's not trapped, you just want it to
yourself."{He still got it for
himself.}
106-"Me first Me first."
107-"Dinosaur? Hey, no problem, right Balinor?"
108-"You call yourself a barbarian, you son of a witch
?"
109-To powerful demon: "Try me sh*t breath!"
110-To sleeping dragon: "Oops, sorry...didn't mean to
disturb you."
111-"Come on, we haven't found any traps so far."
112-Ranger: "What do I see?"
DM:"Do you remember the trap that killed Indy's guide in
Raiders of the
Lost Ark?"
113-"Diamonds ... Gold... Saphires !!! Terry! Terry, we're
rich, we're
rich, we're fabulously wealthy !!!! ...Terry ..... Terry ??"
114-"Let's walk this way."
115-"Hey folks, follow me, I remember the way to the dungeon
exit."(Lost)
116-"I never get to have any fun!"
117-"You mean they get to use the critical hit chart
too?"
118-"Hey, I know a dragon when I see one."
119-"What do you mean the whole room we're in detects as a
trap?"
120-"Hey you! Frost Giant! How's the weather up there?"
121-"Just watch, I bet I get the one item that's
cursed."
122-"I'm invincible!"
123-"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing!"
124-"Stop!"
125-"A sign labeled `pit'? I walk up to it."
126-"No problem. That's easy!"
127-"Hey, I found it. I'm keeping it."
128-"I think we'll have to reason with him."
129-"Hah! I'm not dead yet. I still have five hit
points."
130-"Oh, no. We're being rescued. How embarrassing!"
131-"Yeah, I know it's dangerous, but think of the
experience points."
132-"I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my
wand straight up."
133-"Don't worry. I've got a plan."
134-"They can't see me. I'm invisible!"
135-"I wonder what's in here?"
136-"He wouldn't try that trick again!"
137-"My two mutations? ...But I've only one!"
138-"Just because you're a dragon doesn't mean you can push
ME around."
139-"They don't look so tough."
140-"I'm SURE there are no traps."
141-GM: "FIVE...FOUR...THREE...TWO..."
PC: "I look for the light switch."
142-"What do you mean trolls regenerate!?!"
143-"Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."
144-"I'll open it."
145-"It seems easy enough"
146-"I think he can be trusted."
147-"Those noises are probably nothing."
148-"I'll pull the lever."
149-"Money!"
150-"Magic is for wimps."
151-"Oh. He'll miss. Just look at my AC."
152-"Oh no! Let's go help them!"
153-"Run away!"
154-"I want to kill something."
155-"All clear, guys."
156-"Gummy werebears? They should be cake to kill once they
turn human."
157-"Wait a minute, didn't the old man say something about a
curse?"
158-"Hey, where'd all the big spiders come from?"
159-"Okay, Ed, your underwear explodes!"
160-"Bob, you have any grenades left? Throw me one..."
161-"AGAIN!?!?!"
162-"He shot out my eye? Okay, I tear out my other eye and
throw it at him
as a gesture of defiance."
163-"I pull the metal ring out of the
sphere."(Recognize a Holy Hand Grenade?)
164-"This is a push-over dungeon."
165-"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."
166-"I'll use my taunt skill."
167-"Your mother was a Gully Dwarf."
168-"My God will protect me."
169-"You wouldn't dare!"
170-"Hey, we're out! We're safe!"
171-"I'll try it on."
172-"C'mon! We're a team!"
173-"You don't look like a mage!"
174-"It'd be stupid to trap this!"
175-"I'll kick the door in!"
176-"It could be dangerous!"
177-"Here, hold this rope while I go down."
178-a)"I thought you brought the food!"
b)"I thought you brought the antidote!"
179-"Well, if you didn't belch, who did?"
180-"Isn't there anything exciting in this dungeon?"
(said to GM)
181-"Uh guys? Hello? Anyone?"
182-"Dragons give you a lot of Exp."
183-"I know an illusion when I see one."
184-"Who's the bitch with the spiders?" (ahhh! the
infamous Lloth)
185-"I sit on the pale lady with the funny teeth."
(Ahhh! the infamous vampire)
186-"Mysterious shadows in the room? I'm not scared --- you
can't spook me!"
187-"There's a smell of gas, huh? Well, my lantern is
hooded. It ought to be
safe."
188-"Take off my armor and try to swim? Forget it --- I
worked hard to get this
+3 plate mail. Besides, the DM never lets anyone die --- he
wouldn't
let me drown, would he?"
189-"I cast a lightning bolt at the ochre jelly."
190-"Lightning bolts don't ricochet off stone walls, do
they?"
191-"A ballista? What's that? How many dice of damage does
it do?" {Twenty.It's
like a
crossbow, only MUCH larger.}
192-"So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like
this can't have
a very big militia."
193-"Only six inches long? Ha... Wait, you don't mean six
_scale_ inches,
do you?" {said in miniature-figures-game. Character itself
was 3/4" high.}
194-"...and then I... Uh, guys? Why are looking at me like
that? Guys?"
{After using a spell called "Polymorph Other" }
195-"What do you mean, `It doesn't work' ?" {Item with
no more charges left.}
196-"Oh these, I've fought them before..."
197-"Then I'll hit him back!" {spoken at the start of a
bar brawl.}
198-"I'm bored..."
199-"Quick! What did that scroll say ?"
200-"How did he dissappear like that ?" {About a
hostile warrior with a ring
of invisibility and two attacks per round.}
201-"I'll try to pick his pockets." {Pockets belonged
to a level 30 mage.}
202-"Maybe we should just kill him."
203-"Read it to me." {It was a fireball scroll.}
204-"You mean there's more ?" {About undeads which
entered the room}
205-"MAGIC ITEMS!"
206-"He looks like a sunburnt elf? Huh."
207-"I'll light a fire." (In the woods at night
(attracted bears)}
208-"You'd have to be a GOD to smile after that hit!"
209-GM:"You DID take the swimming skill?" (to a player
when character fell
overboard.)
210-"I'll stand guard." (Didn't want to enter orc
cave.Orcs were out. Orcs
came back.)
211-"What do you mean I hear water?" {in a tunnel}
212-"I bar the door!" {Door opened inward.}
213-"I'll cover you!"
214-"Take out a Beholder's eyes, and Bingo!"
215-"I can't possibly miss..."
216-"Don't worry, I can hit him! I can hit him!"
217-"Shut up, bird!" {to a parrot who happened to be
repeating the True Name of
a demon which subsequently exterminated the party}
218-"But he has to be our friend!"
219-"How would you like to have this sword?"
220-NPC:"Take this ring as a token of my esteem." {This
party no longer accepts
gifts from unknown NPC's.}
221-PLAYER:"BEGONE THINGS OF EVIL!!!"
REPLY:"Begone thing of good."
222-"I go through the door... Wait, I check for traps!"
223-"Don't be silly. That kind of monster NEVER follows
you."
224-"I run up to the monster, throw my magic net over it,
and try to take the
jewel from around its neck." {But nets don't stop creatures
from biting.}
225-"Hmmm... odd-colored walls. Well, I touch one."
{turned to stone}
226-"I wonder what the black-and-yellow striped ring above
the seat does?"
{ Ejection Seat. No atmosphere and no vacc-suit.}
227-"What do you mean, vacc-suit proficiency? I thought it
was perfectly
straightforward, like wearing clothes..."
[From a character attempting to fight hand-to-hand in one.]
228-"But the directions SAID to `pull pin and throw' !"
[From a beautifully role-played traveller character from a non-
technological world. He was given a scout ship survival pack,
which among other gimcracks, contained concussion grenades.
When he got in trouble, of course, he pulled the pin out of
one and threw it ("it" being the pin, naturally)...]
229-"Uh, what does 'explosive decompression' mean?"
230-"Why the hell do you always put `Graf' before your name?
Is that this
backward planet's equivalent of `Duke' or something?"
231-"Don't worry - I have Pilot-7."
232-"What do you mean `energy weapons are illegal' ?"
233-"DO NOT OPEN"
234-"Easy kill."
235-"I've got you now!"
236-"Is this one really able to breath fire?"
237-"Trust me. I know what I'm doing"
238-"I open the door and see who it is." {in response
to a knock on the door}
239-"I jump off the roof - He won't get my last HP
then."
240-"Oh cute! Look at the fuzzy little cubs!"
241-"Your armor is too noisy. Wait here and I'll scout
ahead."
242-"I explain to the ogre that it was an honest
mistake."
243-"Oh, he puts those in all of his dungeons. It's a gas
spore."
244-"Hubba hubba! The nymph's taking off her clothes!"
245-"Whoever did this must be long gone by now."
246-"Easy, boy. What's this stupid horse's problem?"
247-"You mean ... this ... is the last ... torch?"
248-"Oh don't worry. The poisonous ones have orange
stripes."
249-"I really didn't know it was against the law."
250-"You racist! They're elves. So what if they're
black?"
251-"This flickering torch light is playing tricks on my
eyes. It almost
seemed as though that chest moved by itself."
252-"Demogorgon."
253-"What's the duration of this Fly spell?"
254-"I don't understand. It should be dead by now."
255-"Finally! I thought that troll would never die."
256-"If we look brave and fearless, they won't attack."
257-"I'de feel better if we had some crampons. Oh, what the
hell, let's go
for it."
258-"I wouldn't worry about the thieves' guild -- they don't
have a clue who
did it."
259-"Aha! So you're the [killer/spy/vampire]!"
260-"It doesn't look very fast; we can easily swim
across."
261-"While they're fighting the dragon, I sneak around
behind him and examine
his hoard."
262-"I wish we had a 10 foot pole. Oh well."
263-"Ha ha ha! Let's put bookworms in his spell research
library."
264-"I rolled a 20. How could that be a miss?"
265-"I've got plenty of spells; I don't need to carry a
weapon."
266-"I'm heir to the crown. They wouldn't dare!"
267-"Don't you understand? The odds will be even. If we
can't see them, they
can't see us."
268-"Who's bringing up the rear?"
269-"It's only one wight. The others are just ghouls."
270-"But [longbows/match locks/nuclear weapons] haven't been
invented yet..."
271-"Look, I don't care what you think of her, or her
"demonic smile." She's
hot to trot. So, if you'll excuse us..."
272-"I've got better things to do than run your petty
errands, your highness."
273-"What?! I thought you said fifTEEN kobolds."
274-"It'll be a short ocean voyage. One week's worth of food
and water will be
enough."
275-"I won't fall in; I just want a better look at what's
down there."
276-"Ochre jelly? Ok, everyone, break out the bread and the
peanut butter."
277-"Quit clowning around. Look, whichever one of you is
doing that, it's not
funny."
278-"Hey! Where's my components?"
279-"For some reason I had always imagined that bugbears
were somewhat
smaller."
280-"A trap? That's exactly what we're supposed to expect. I
think this DM is
more imaginative than that."
281-"After what we took, he won't be able to afford an
assassin."
282-"They're usually not aggressive. If we leave it alone,
it'll leave us
alone."
283-"Wanna see my new spell?"
284-"Something's wrong with my d20."
285-"That was no healing potion! I'm gonna kill that
swindler!"
286-"Ha! That's the oldest trick in the book."
287-"Hey, Bill, cast a Detect Invisibility, quick. Bill.
Bill? Where's
Bill?"
288-"Cover me."
289-"I think it's asleep."
290-"Look at the size of those tracks!"
291-"Can you make out this next rune? It looks like someone
spilled coffee on
this scroll."
292-"..23..24..Well, that's the last of his arrows."
293-"Watch this."
294-"Well, if I remember correctly, it's AC 7, 3+1 HD, 1d8
damage. Hmm..."
<scribble> <scribble>
"I should defeat him around the 4th round and still have
about 12.5 hit points left. Ok, let's rock!"
295-"No problem! I'll just cast a ... whoops, I forgot. I'm
just 2nd level,
aren't I?"
296-"Did you see that guy's head? I wonder what did
this."
297-"Damned be him who first cries, 'Hold, enough!'"
298-"If you cut me down, I will only become more
powerful."
299-"Zoinks! I sure hope that's just Scooby behind me."
300-"I ain't afraid of no ghost."
301-"Geez, I'm kind of low on funds. Ok, I'll take 500 gp
for the healing
potion."
302-"I bet it's just an illusion."
303-"Well, at least I tried...?"
304-"It's only an illusionary red dragon!"
305-"I'll attempt to patch it up." {...finding a hole
in the cargo bay of the
the orbital shuttle}
306-"I'll cut the red wire."
307-"Hey, I'll try to hide in shadows." {Room full of
Shadows(kind of monster
in AD&D)}
308-a)"I cast a powerball." {inside an elevator}
b)"I shoot him with my laser." {inside a crowded
elevator}
309-"I cast a hellblast." {at a gas station}
310-"Let's blow open the airlock."
311-"I jump from our car into theirs."
312-"YOU are the UGLIEST guy I've ever seen." {to an 8
foot tall troll}
313-"What do you mean 'the bullets are just bouncing
off'!"
314-"O.K. pal, take your best shot."
315-"Let's rush them."
316-"There's no way they'll ever find us."
317-"What could possibly go wrong?"
318-"Him? What is HE doing here? I thought we killed
him!"
319-"I throw a grenade at them." {in the middle of a
weapons storhouse}
320-"Guys, I'm out of ammo."
321-"I tackle her." {She was a wolf shapeshifter in
human form}
322-"Dragon? What dragon?"
323-"I shoot a missile at one of the wasps."
324-"Does anybody in the group have Doc Wagon?"
325-"A juggernaught? What the hell's a juggernaught?"
326-"Get him!"
327-"I give him the finger..."
328-"He has a threat rating of WHAT ?"
329-"Guys, there's some giant bugs in the hallway."
330-"Do you think it's a toxic spirit?"
331-"What's with that wierdo with the teeth?"
332-"I put my AK97 under my coat and go to the subway."
333-"How many teeth does it have?" {character used to
make chains of the
teeth of his dead opponents}
334-"'Brak'? That's a stupid name for a barbarian!"
335-"Blue, no...wait, Yellow! Aaaaarghhhh" {to a
bridgekeeper}
336-"Shit, it's a minefield, leggit !!!"
337-"Call me Kregor the Undying!"
338-"Let's split."
339-"They will flee in terror from my <name of Assault
Mech Class>"
340-"Feel like surrendering ?"
341-"Give you my T.O.&E ?! Figure it out
yourself..."
342-"It's only infantry."
343- while rolling dices "Please God, not an ammo
explosion..."
344-"Stupid fool. Tried to scare me by firing LRMs at my
feet. I charge
right at him." {character standing in a minefield}
345-"Sure you can use the LRM Carrier platoon in this
scenario ."
346-"Airstrike? Sure.....But I get one too."
347-"I'll hide my ship near the planet's ring?" {which
is where several hundred
nuclear missile-equipped automated battlesats were hidden}
348-"That's an interesting headband you're wearing pilot
Smith."
{kamikaze headband}
349-"I'm sure reinforcements will get here on time. They
promised."
350-"Say, what's that red dot on your forehead?" {laser
sight}
351-"I'm a vampire. No mortal can kill me."
352-"What a stupid 'bot." {It was a hunter-killer
drone}
353-"Jamming at full power, they'll never scan through
that!!"
{enemy used anti-radiation missiles}
354-"What kind of idiot would set boobytraps in his own
home?"
355-"No, I wasn't reading the module. I was just looking at
the pictures."
356-"Black Ice in Mom and Pop's Grocery?!" {front for
money launderers}
357-"Funny, doesn't *look* like a cyberpsycho...." {but
it was one}
358-"Corporate geek, huh? I throw my beer on his fancy
suit!"
{Arasaka exec with bodyguards nearby}
359-"No security force is *that* fast responding."
360-"I have a very bad feeling about this."
361-"I'm sure they didn't trace me."
362-"I throw the grenade..." (Onto a proch less than
ten feet away)
363-"We'll let him fire the mortar, he's not to good with a
gun."
364-"Um... I charge the machine gun nest."
365-"I think I'll rob that place."
366-"Naah. He's the DM, he never kills PCs."
367-"I turn the red gem so that the little carving points
right at the one on
the wall above it. Then I rotate the ..."
368-"No, you idiot, they can't hear us crawling around out
here!"
{yelled to another PC}
369-"So they have a tank...big deal! I have an M-16!!! I can
kill it."
370-"What do you mean they threw it back ?"
371-"There is only two left..."
372-"No, sir. We're gonna protect this fire base. They won't
get past us...
...Arc Light ?!?! What do you mean the B-52s are on their way
???"
{after being ordered to evacuate a camp that will be attacked in
four
hours}
373-"Switch to 2nd Edition? Okay, what the hell..."
374-"Do something, SCHMUCK !"
375-"Hey, wow, something that really DOES 'go bump in the
night' !"
376-One of these must be the right one...just start pushing
buttons at random,
we'll hit it."
377-"In my present mood I could cast 'Speak with Dead' and
talk to myself."
378-"Oh, that's just a light wound."
"Ach, is doch nur 'ne Fleischwunde..." {in German}
379-DM: "You know you're 6' high and sitting on a 3' high
horse in a saddle
designed to keep you from falling. Now you're charging at full
speed
into a 7' high cave. What are you going to do ?"
PC: "Hit my head on the cave roof ?!" {He took a *lot*
of damage...}
380-"I just HAVE to know what that magic trap(/item)
does."
381-"Oh, that bat's not much of a problem." {playing
ULTIMA Underworld}
382-"Let me have this stupid skeleton with my two-handed
sword."
383-"I tell the guard to go fuck himself, bit I say it in a
nice way."
384-"I wish all these bloody things were dead." {spoken
by a PC wearing a ring
of wishes (he didn't know about), the entire party was wounded so
they
died like two of ten demons they were fighting.}
385-"You are on my side, aren't you ?!"
386-"Open that door, slut!" {said by PC to another
PC(femalefighter), she
cuts him in two after that}
387-NPC: "Surrender !"
PC1: "Don't shoot. I give up, but let this guy(PC2) go, I
took him as a
hostage..."
NPC: "Okay, okay, but first of all drop all your
weapons!" {said to PC1}
PC2: {taking out his Heavy Autopistol} "Shall I drop my
weapon,too ???"
388-"Computer, I'd like to register my mutation... It's
Machine Empathy."
389-"Sacrifice...?"
390-"My Skill? ... Vehicle Operations... Flybot...! ... Oh
shit!"
391-"I'll try to fix it."
392-"I step back as far as I can." {In an elevator}
393-"I try to talk to the blob."
394-"A Communist sticker on the Warbot? ... I'll shoot it
off."
395-"I'll put my head in, and see what's inside."
396-PC1: "So... who knows how to drive?" {noone knew
but they didn't care...}
397-"You mean this suit is nuclear powered? Get me outta
here! ... Guys?"
398-PC: "Citizen Marks-R reporting treasonous activity in a
corridor."
"What colour corridor is that, citizen?" {computer}
"The corridor? Umm...It's Blue."
399-"It has an ejector seat? I pull the lever." {in a
helicopter-like Flybot}
400-"Beeping? O.K. I put it back in my holster."
401-"I'll hold my breath and run through the gas."
402-"I'd better carry the explosives, I've got demolition
skill."
403-"Oh shit... I'll try to teleport again."
404-"Umm... Do I have a gas mask?"
405-"I knock at that door."
406-"Save vs spell ? Why ? Doesn't matter! I've got a save
on a 4."
{said it rolled his dice and was disintegrated on a roll of 3}
407-"I try to resurect him with this rod."
408-"Was that rune inscribed on the cage important ?"
409-"Want some help ?" {said by an magic apprentice}
410-"Quick !! How does one UNSUMMON a demon lord ?"
411-"I wonder what this wand does ?" {waving it around}
412-"Remember that demon that you HAD imprisoned down in the
cellar ? Well..."
413-"I thought lighting the candles around the pentagram was
YOUR job."
414-"I finally shot that owl that's been folowing you around
!"
415-"By the way, what's the reverse of
"summon"?"
416-"That fire wand only had 25 charges left on it ?!"
417-"How does one control something once it gets out of the
pentagram ?"
418-"The warding circle for this demon wasn't continuous
before, was it ?"
419-"Let's see what'll happen when I mix these two potions
together ?"
420-"So this wand fires a fireball if I point it at
something and say
'Braxat'?"
{ Boom !!!!!! }
421-"You wouldn't happen to have a banishment spell
memorized...?"
422-"Hey, I bet I can do that better than you can!"
423-"Oh, that component was worth THAT much ?"
424-"But this was supposed to be foolproof!"
425-"I thought you said "Cone of Cold" not
"Coin of Gold"!"
426-"What kind of glue do you use to fix a DragonOrb ?"
427-"Master, I kind of forgot to feed your familiar."
{never seen again}
428-"What's in this bottle ?" * POP * "Uhh...
oh-oh..."
429-"Sorry about that, Master. I promise I won't wave your
wand around again...
Hmm...what's this frog doing here ?"
430-"Is this scroll pronounced 'HAStur HAStur' or 'HasTUR
HasTUR' ?"
431-"Hey, where did I put the top to this Decanter of
Endless Water ?"
432-Master: "Hey, where is my staff of power, you know, the
one with the rune
on
it ???"
Apprentice: "Was that your Staff of Power ? That end table
in the den at
home needed a new leg and you TOLD me to fix it ..."
433-"Okay, I put the fire resistence potions in the red
bottles, and the cold
resistence potions in the blue. Or was it the other way around
??"
434-"I thought this spell required a 5-sided star..."
435-"Master, why was this mirror lying faced down on the
table ?? Master ???
Gee, where'd he go ? {scratches head}
436-"We are all out of candles, so I used lanterns to
surround the pentacle..."
437-Apprentice: "Well, Master, I finally managed to learn
the enlarge spell.
Now, could you please tell me how one gets rid of a 50' big
rat ?"
438-Apprentice: "Excuse me sir but, theoretically, what
would happen if someone
summoned, oohhh, lets say a major demon from the 376 level of
the Abyss ?"
439-"With this body in my possesion I shall now rule the
world!!"
440-"Why does the writing on that book disappear while I am
reading it ?"
441-"That nice wizard from across town paid me 2000gp to
deliver this box to
you... Me thinks -- It must be some kind of clock !"
442-"Let me control this steering-wheel now."
443-PC hires NPC to be a spy; PC is in contact with NPC via
walkie-talkie :
NPC:"I see it coming...aaargllhhhh" {sough}
PC :"What do you mean 'aaargllhhhh'? Hey man, I've paid for
this."
444-DM:"All of you successfully hit the dragon. It doesn't
do anything."
PC:"You mean it doesn't even wake up?"
DM:"Suddenly, from behind you a *living* white
dragon..."
445-DM:"You crash through the door and find about 10
goblins. They look
surprised."
PC:"I say, 'Boo'!"
446-"Come on, there's no such thing as a sword made of
arsenic..."
447-"It probably just wants to be friends."
448-"Don't worry, what are the odds of rolling a 1 on a d20
?"
449-"It doesn't look like anyone is hiding in here."
450-"Aw, come on. I'm sure he's forgotten about that last
time."
-* BOOM *-